Portfolio
by pebblysand
Summary: "You're still Greg House and you always will be, the selfish bastard I madly fell in love with." Little insight on House and the women in his life based on the song Yellow by Coldplay. It's Huddy but mentions Cameron, Lydia and Stacy too. OS, for now.


**Disclaimer:** I've recently bought the fifth season of the show in DVDs but that's about everything I own. And unfortunately, I don't make any money out of this.

**Rating:** T, just because I'm French and I'm trying to be safe.

**Paring: **Huddy

**Summary:** All the reasons why I fell in love with Greg House from Cameron's, Stacy's, Lydia's and finally Cuddy's POV. Based on the song Yellow by Coldplay.

**A/N:** Okay, here I am with a brand new story. I guess this One-Shot is pretty weird, it's based on the lyrics of a song called Yellow by Coldplay but isn't actually a regular song fic. Anyway, I hope you like it.

Just so you know, I'm French and I've had some trouble contacting my beta lately so there may be some grammatical mistakes on the way. I'll try to update a beta-ed version as soon as I can.

"_L'amour, c'est quand on obtient pas tout de suite ce qu'on désire" _Alfred Capus

"_Love happens when you don't immediately get what you want"_ Alfred Capus

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_A-C._

_Look at the stars_, House.

_Look how they shine for you_. For the demanding genius you are today and the incredible bastard you will be tomorrow. I may not be as screwed up as you think you are but sometimes, I selfishly wish there were enough stars in the universe to care for both you and me.

Do you know that I used to dream about us lying in the grass every night, laughing about how we found each other, about what a perfect match we are? I used to pretend we could be together, you and me, and nothing in between. Since we're both damaged, aren't we? But I want to be cured. Because I love you, _and everything you do_.

And yes, it may just be teenage crush, a spoiled child's unrealizable dream but I've become a doctor after all and I'd like to think that this shows I can sometimes get what I want. So perhaps someday I will see a shooting star flashing across the sky when I come out the hospital late at night and I will prey for you. Prey so that I can no longer be that girl, the one who's lost the only two men she's ever loved. That girl is alone tonight because he's not here anymore and you're not such a great substitute. I see white bright dots in the sky and imagine him up there, looking after me from wherever he is. I remember the stars from the night he died too. _Yeah_, _they were all yellow_.

_I came along_ a few years ago wanting to be taught something I didn't know. I wanted to get my mind off what I had just gone through, I wanted to forget, start over and help people with what I knew. And there you were, the incredibly smart jerk I childishly fell for. You asked me why, told me you weren't worth it but I don't believe love can be inappropriate, even though its object is not lovable.

I did everything I could do: _I wrote a song for you_, made you coffee, filled in your paperwork and even started listening to the Rolling Stones. Kept on doing everything I used to do, _and all the things you do_. But I wanted fix you; turn you into someone else, somebody I wouldn't have loved. And I'm sorry House, I truly am sorry. I'm leaving today and I'm not even sure I've helped you. Please, let me at least believe I've helped myself in the process. I think I've healed now House, even though you haven't. Because I burnt down all the pictures of us I didn't have and forgot about our un-existing memories. I thought about writing a book though, about all our fantasies, _and it was called yellow_.

_S-W._

_So then I took my turn_ and gave Cuddy the signature she needed for you to begin hating me. _Oh all the things I've done_… I won't ever forgive myself that one wrong call I made. And I believe you won't let me either. I thought you'd stick to your standards you know, 'misery's better than nothing'? I didn't want to be left alone. But that's how it all ended anyway, you forced me into it. I saw your fist hit our kitchen wall in anger, _and it was all yellow._

When I touch your arm, _your skin_ reminds me of what we used to be, jerking around in your apartment at four in the morning right after I moved in. _Oh yeah, your skin and bones_ were brushing against my body at the time, making me feel alive, making me feel like I mattered. I wish you were still there to hold me when I start crying late at night and tell me everything is going to be all right. I wish our pain could_ turn into something beautiful_ but we both have to cope with the consequences of my mistakes along the way.

_D'you know - you know I love you so_ much I could have come right back next to you, even after all you put me through? If only you had whispered it in my ear, if only you had told me you didn't want me gone. But when I left, I should have known better, I should have known you wouldn't care. I shouldn't be regretting this today. Going over and over that scene a thousand times. You're still Greg House and you always will be, the selfish bastard I madly fell in love with, almost a decade ago. And _you know I love you so._

_L-?._

_I swam across_ the emptiness; I grabbed your hand and helped you out. _I jumped across for you_ even though I never really understood what you were going through; never really figured how it is to feel insane, to have your whole world collapse under your feet. Googling you taught me you used to be a man of science, a man who thought that the only truth that matters is the truth that can be measured, that good intentions don't count and that what's in your heart doesn't count. I now wonder how screwed up you exactly were when I met you and what a crazy idea it was to fall in love with you. _Oh, _really,_ what a thing to do_? But I had lost a friend and you had lost your mind and for once in your life, you looked like you needed to find somebody who cared. _'Cause you were _vulnerable, insecure and bright and_ all yellow._

And when you healed, _I drew a line. I drew a line for you._ I'm not sure I could have left my family behind, but I could have tried, if only I had thought it was best for you. But _oh, what a thing to do_ that would have been? Selfish and shortsighted, stupid and childish. I know I made the right call not to stay with you. You needed to go back to your hospital and I needed to leave all my memories in Mayfield. I'd like to see them age and look just like the old pictures that fill my mom's dark squared box, all the way back in Germany. Yeah, I remember the lid was so rarely opened that it was stuck with dust _and it was all yellow_.

_L-C._

_Your skin_, was as rough at the time as it is right now. I smile as the images run through my mind and I remember pretty well what you looked like when we first made love, more twenty years ago. _Oh yeah, your skin and bones_ slowly caressing my shoulders and my hips, your deep blue eyes staring at me in my dorm room as I slowly understood how you could make this _turn into something beautiful_.

_D'you know for you I'd bleed myself dry?_ Well, I guess that's what most people would expect me to do anyway, because the more you screw with me, the more crap I seem to ask for. So I know you'd probably laugh at me, tell me I'm an idiot and a chronic pain in the ass but yeah, I believe _for you, I'd bleed myself dry. _And I swear _it's true_, I'm not saying that to be nice. I'm not Wilson for Heaven's sake!

So _look at the stars_, House, _look how they shine for you_. For you, for us, _and all the things that you do_ to me tonight. Because being with you is like playing poker. There's the thrill, the tension; I'm all in everyday and I've got everything to win and everything to lose in that relationship. But I love you. And I hope you can change the rules and let me win.

_Fin_

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**A/N:** See how weird was this story? I don't usually write that way but I really hope you liked it. Please review, feedback is always great, even if it's to tell me how much I suck at this.

Also, I may turn this into a multiple chapter thing, writing other kinds of stories with different songs so I'd like to know if you have any song requests for me.

Voilà.


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